how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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