do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
