After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
