dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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