I love black thongs
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
