I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
