im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
