I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
