what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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