Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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