I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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