im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
