Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
