nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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