I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
