I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
