Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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