I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
