My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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