last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have aggressive nipples.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
