my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
