Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
