Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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