I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
