Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
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