i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
