how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize