oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
