Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
