Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
