it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
