Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
