Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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