imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
