since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
