Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize