I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
