Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize