this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
