I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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