On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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