Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
