Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
