I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
