i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
