This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think people are normalizing furries
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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