OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
