I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
