Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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