you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
