tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
