Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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