Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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