There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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