you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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