brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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