Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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