he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize