i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
