Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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