My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
