dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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