I am puke
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
