I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
