Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
